Malcolm Roberts

“You might be an internationally respected scientist, Brian Cox. But I sir, am a proud Queenslander from Bombay, and no-one knows more about warming than us. Like, such as. And that.”
– Malcom Roberts outlaying his devastating argument that climate change is part of a massive hoax perpetrated by a cabal of baby-eating globalists.

Malcolm Roberts is a Senator for Queensland and the court jester for Pauline Hanson’s One Nation Party.

Despite being born a British citizen and raised in India until the age of 19, Roberts – a virulent anti-immigrationist – strongly identified as Australian until at least 2016, when he was first elected to the federal Senate (with less than 80 first preference votes).

Unfortunately for Roberts, the High Court found that feeling Australian wasn’t quite the same as actually being Australian, at least not as far as citizenship was concerned. And so Roberts was forced out of parliament, only to re-contest the spot and win it back at the 2019 election.

Roberts has put his impressive capacity for ‘flexible logic’ to good use for the Australian people In other areas by developing cutting edge theories on a whole host of contentious issues, including:

1. Climate change: Why are progressives suddenly so against change? Obviously, they’re just trying to confuse us so they can steal our treasure;
2. Asylum seekers: If a boat sinks in the ocean and no-one hears it, did it ever really sink?; and
3. Flat earth: If the earth really is a globe and Australia’s on the bottom of it, then how do Australian’s get erections? Think about it sheeple….

Malcolm lists his hobbies as “doing my own research, eating crayons, having crayons removed from my nasal cavity, and drawing with crayons that have been removed from my nasal cavity”. Malcolm also enjoys receiving an occasional This Is Not A Greeting Card! from New Matilda readers”.

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