Texas Bans Drag Queen Story Time, Unleashes Winnie The Pooh To Fight School Shooters


Thank God for lawmakers in Texas. Not only have they stepped in to save little children from the clutches of evil drag queens, but they’re almost certainly going to turn their attention to new legislation to save kiddies from school shooters. Soon. Ish. Probably.

During the most recent session of Texas parliament, which ended last week, Republican politicians found time to pass a literal suite of new bills targetting LGBTQ Texans, including ending public funding for libraries that host ‘drag queen story times’. Because, you know, it’s anyone’s guess how many Texan children have died during a bawdy reading of Spot The Dog.

Unfortunately, the Texas legislature ran out of time this parliamentary session to pass any new gun safety laws… turns out it’s a complicated business not infringing on the second amendment rights of well-armed militias. And given Texas Parliament only meets once every two years, January 2025 will be the earliest Texans can expect any new legislation to try and curb the ever-growing violence in Texas streets and shopping malls.

On the good news front, at least some Texan parents can feel a little more confident about getting their little ones home from school after families in the Dallas area last week received free copies of Stay Safe: Run, Hide, Fight, an exciting new children’s book that helps teach kids the best way to survive a mass school shooting.

“If there is danger, let Winnie-the-Pooh and his crew show you what to do!” promises the book.

If there is danger and it is safe to get away we should RUN like Rabbit instead of stay.

Help friends that need it, but we can’t quit until we are safe with a teacher or the police.

If danger is near, do not fear.
HIDE like Pooh does until the police appear.
Doors should be locked, the passage blocked and lights turned off.
We should all hide without making a sound in a place where we cannot be found.
If we have a cell phone it should be in silent zone.

Granted, the timing is a little awkward. The release of Winnie The Pooh’s gun safety book just happened to coincide with the one-year anniversary of the Robb Elementary School shooting in Uvalde, Texas, where 19 students, aged nine to 11, and two teachers were massacred, with a further 18 injured.

‘Run, Hide, Fight’ is actually the name of the FBI’s public training video for adults: “You can survive a mass shooting… if you’re prepared.”

But at least they’re doing something, right? Because even though drag queens are slaughtering kids in unprecedented numbers, guns stubbornly remain the leading cause of death for children in Texas and beyond, ahead of car accidents and cancer.

Texas also happens to be in top half of deaths and injuries during mass shootings (four or more people shot or killed) in US states. Or at least it was while Texas Parliament was sitting – it ranked 19th in the US.

Interestingly, that’s not just bad news for Texans - the gun culture there is so bad, it’s impacting on life in neighbouring Mexico. Figures from the US Government Accountability Office for 2009 to 2014 reveal that a staggering 41 per cent of illicit ‘crime guns’ (firearms used in the furtherance of a criminal offence) recovered by Mexican police have their origins in Texas.... which obviously sheds a whole new light on former president Donald Trump’s past claims that the US is under attack from drug dealers and rapists.

New Matilda is independent journalism at its finest. The site has been publishing intelligent coverage of Australian and international politics, media and culture since 2004.