‘I’ll Sit On His Face Till Police Arrive’: Hunky Crim Breaks The Internet


He’s wanted for a series of alleged drug offences, but then he’s also wanted for a lot more than that, if Facebook comments on a post that’s gone seriously viral are anything to go by.

Humberside Police in northern England issued an alert for 36-year-old Robert Rimmer two days ago, warning that he should not be approached.

The story (and accompanying photo) was picked up and published by Facebook news group WalesOnline, but people from all over the world are joining in the hunt… and not just because Rimmer shares his surname with a particularly adventurous sex act.

He also happens to be – according to popular opinion (and basic scientific fact) – very, very good looking. Conversely, the comments on the also happen to be very, very entertaining.

Helen Clark, from Skegness in England writes, “You need to be more specific with the instructions… I can’t approach him, but can he approach me…. From behind… just to be clear? Could you confirm?”

Emma Nicholls, from Somerset, shares a similar outlook: “Rob if you’re reading this & need a place to hide out, slide into my DM’s babe.”

As did Kate Clapham: “How dangerous exactly? Could he be easily sedated? Asking for a friend.”

Plenty of men have got involved as well. Steve Featherstone notes: “Tonight I’ve gotta pretend to be Robert Rimmer in the bedroom, on the run. The Mrs said so.”

Paul Harrison writes: “Can we request a hard copy of the photo? Preferably A3 and glossy.”

At the time of press, there was already almost 110,000 comments on the post.

The best one so far is from Morgan Hawes, a New Yorker, who writes: “I’ll sit on his face until the police arrive.”

Launched in 2004, New Matilda is one of Australia's oldest online independent publications. It's focus is on investigative journalism and analysis, with occasional smart arsery thrown in for reasons of sanity. New Matilda is owned and edited by Walkley Award and Human Rights Award winning journalist Chris Graham.