Helen Razer On #MAYhem, And Loving New Matilda

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Throughout the month of MAYhem, New Matilda is unveiling a major investigation each week, to show readers what we could do all year round if we were properly resourced… i.e. if you got off your butts and subscribed! You can read our first investigation, unveiled here last week. In the meantime, following is writer and general all-round legend Helen Razer’s view on how and why that should happen.

Herewith, my entreaty to all potential New Matilda donors.

First, I endorse the publication with all the power a little-known writer who mostly craps on about Marxism can.

I am very fond of New Matilda. Well save for those occasional articles referring to myself as “wrong”, “very wrong” or “so wrong, she should even be refused service at our truly wrong institutions, including Hungry Jack’s at 3am, and the RSL at any time”.

I am very fond of New Matilda. Although, there was that time Chrisso published something about feminism that looked to be extruded from the junior lavatory of the IPA. Some guy saying something about women being nicer? Didn’t sit well with me. As I am not nice.

I am not nice, but I would be even less nice without the glorious debacle, New Matilda. When it doesn’t surprise me — which is often — it informs me. When it doesn’t confirm my worst fears — which it often does — it gives me cause for hope. Sometimes, that hope is for true journalism alone.

As I am a little-known writer who mostly craps on about Marxism, one soon to pay a PAYG instalment, I cannot offer money.

What I can offer are services in exchange for your handsome and/or heartfelt donation.

I could:

(a) act as a personal life-coach for one hour a week by Skype until such time as the recipient of my terrible advice begs me to stop ruining everything; or

(b) make a podcast in my popular* Knackers and the Vadge series addressed entirely to you and all your questions, so long as these permit me to bang on about Marxist crap for at least 10 minutes.

Please contact the New Matilda editor with your incredulity and demand, “You expect me to pay for that?”

No, I really don’t. I wouldn’t buy my shit, either. But you’re not buying, are you? This is my act of symbolic solidarity. How about you donate/subscribe etc. to PREVENT me from acting as your life-coach or personal podcaster? If you do not give New Matilda money and I can reasonably detect you have some, I will offer unsolicited “life hacks” and “wellness” advice to you incessantly. I will Google you for days and make a podcast tailored to what I’ve found.

Or not. Oh. Whatever. Just give NM money, as I can’t this month.

In a final gesture of almost nothing, please find below the recorded palaver spoken between myself and NM editor Chris Graham.

Helen Razer

Helen Razer in an Australian writer, author and avowed Marxist. She is based in Melbourne and writes regularly for Crikey.com

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