VIDEO: Swinging For Baby Jesus, The Greatest Biblical Quotes In History

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Every now and then, New Matilda’s Insider blog likes to point you in the direction of a video that will change your life. This is one such occasion.

A bit like the Bible, this is the greatest story ever told. A story about an all-American couple who decided to combine their two great passions in life… Jesus, and swinging.

You can’t make this stuff up.

The episode from the series Extreme Love (watch below) is actually a few years old, but The Insider has only just discovered it, hence you’re reading about it now, because it’s just too excellent not to share.

Christian Wife Swappers Preach The Word Of God Through Swinging charts the story of Dean and Cristy Parave, an American couple who discovered God, and their junk (but not necessarily in that order), and then realized the two things might combine quite nicely. Particularly if they introduced a bit of extra spice in their life, in the form of other people’s junk.

What flowed from this are perhaps the greatest quotes in human history. Behold…

Swingers for Jesus, Dean and Cristy Parave.

Dean Parave: “What I think about being a devout person is, God’s not going to put a lion with a bunch of elephants, so what’s he gunna do? He’s gunna put a swinger with a bunch of swingers to spread his word. Simple as that.”

Yeah nah… that doesn’t make any sense. But then there was this: “If I was a priest going to a swinger’s club, would you listen to me?”

Probably not. And this….

“If I could go to the next swingers event and get 10 people to believe in Christ, my job’s done.”

Over to Dean’s wife Cristy: “I feel like right now, this is God’s plan.”

Admittedly, ‘God’s plan’ – according to the Parave’s – sounds decidedly more interesting than anything that’s come out of the Australian Christian Lobby in the last few years, but what does the Bible actually say?

“The Bible doesn’t talk about swinging. Ah, Specifically,” says Cristy.

Which is actually true.

“I just feel like as a married couple you agree on something together, then it’s okay. If it’s not, then judgment day I’ll find that out.”

Also known as the ‘Catholic defence’.

Johnny, one of the couple’s swinging friends acknowledges the Bible probably frowns on swinging, but he thinks he’s discovered a loophole: “In the Bible, there are so many grey areas. It says ‘Thou shalt not covet your neighbour’s wife. But what if your neighbor wants you to?’”

‘Johnny’ and ‘Amanda’… found a loophole.

Dean’s loophole is even better.

“So far today, God hasn’t said ‘Hey Dean stop this it’s a sin. I don’t want you to do this.’ Till he does that, I’m gunna keep trying to help as many people as we can.”

Amen.

Launched in 2004, New Matilda is one of Australia's oldest online independent publications. It's focus is on investigative journalism and analysis, with occasional smart arsery thrown in for reasons of sanity. New Matilda is owned and edited by Walkley Award and Human Rights Award winning journalist Chris Graham.

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