Joe Bullock Has A Hissy Fit: Same-Sex Marriage 1, Labor Right 0

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Right-wing Labor Senator and all round conservative extremist Joe Bullock has decided to take his bat and ball and go home to Western Australia – permanently – in protest at his party’s decision to do as little as humanely possible to advance the rights of same-sex couples to marry.

Bullock’s chief objection is that Labor should be doing everything humanely possible to prevent same-sex marriage, and his frustration finally boiled over last night, leading him to make one of the more ridiculous political statements of recent times.

In parliament yesterday evening, Bullock announced his decision to resign from the Senate at the next election, despite having only entered office in 2014.

The West Australian Christian is outraged that last year, at the ALP national conference, delegates voted to bind parliamentary members to a vote in favour of same-sex marriage sometime before the next Ice Age (or 2019, whichever comes first).

The move was widely seen as yet another delaying tactic from a party without policy. But not delaying enough for Joe Bullock.

In announcing his resignation, Senator Bullock decided to underscore why he should have never won Labor Party pre-selection in the first place.

“Instinctively I know if your job requires you to do which you believe to be wrong, there’s only one course of action: resign.”

New Matilda understands a sizeable proportion of Bullock’s Labor colleagues claim never to have received that particular memo.

Bullock rounded out his dummy-spit by confusing the role of a party hack with that of a parliamentarian.

“As a member of the party, I’m free to disagree with the party policy, to lobby for change, and to encourage people to join the party with a view to achieving that end,” Bullock told parliament.

“As a Labor Senator, it’s my job to tell voters that it doesn’t matter that Labor will outlaw the conscience vote on homosexual marriage, and to recommend a vote for Labor without reservation.

“That’s the job description of a Labor Senator. It’s a job which I can’t do.”

Many, such as Labor’s Louise Pratt have argued it’s a job he hasn’t been doing anyway, but regardless, the actual job description of a federal Senator is to engage in parliamentary debate and pass laws for the benefit of all Australians.

Still, Bullock is someone we’ll all miss.

In the course of his political career – both in office and as one of West Australian Labor’s faceless men – Bullock has turned his back on an Aboriginal Welcome to Country, argued passionately against same-sex marriage, strongly opposed abortion, and railed against “weird lefty trends”, thus proving that the Liberals aren’t the only home of the politically unhinged and socially irrelevant.

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