The Adelaide Festival has released a statement describing a racist cartoon that appeared in The Australian newspaper as “disgraceful”, after it appeared alongside advertisements for the event.
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Cartoonist for The Australian Bill Leak has once again caused controversy… which, let’s face it, is exactly what the ageing attention seeker is ultimately after.
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The signatories of this open letter are academics and scholars from across Australia who wish to lend their support to the chorus of Australians speaking out against recent statements by several media personalities and politicians which have instigated and accentuated a worrying trend of hate speech in Australia especially towards those of the Muslim faith.
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Some people were meant to be together for their own enjoyment. And others were mean to be together for ours. Nelly Thomas has it all mapped out.
If you’re anything like me, you’ll be finding the current political landscape somewhat depressing. By depressing, I mean WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE.
So to my fellow political tragics, I offer the following brief distraction: unexpected love matches of the modern age. You can try it at home. You better believe I have.
He’s the Head of the House of Baratheon, she’s the lowest ranked of the First family of Reality. Both are ridiculously famous, both have issues with their brothers and when they marry, they’ll be the Baratheon-Kardashians. Enough said.
She’s a homicidal lesbian who looks like she just graduated from a Private Girls’ school but has a terrible bogan accent, and he’s a Conservative Liberal who champions a woman’s right to choose and LGBTI rights. I understand neither, but secretly love both. And, if they got married, no-one would have to change their name.
Can you imagine a more perfect match (other than the current Mr & Mrs O’Brien)? They’re both smart, funny, political and have a twinkle in their eye. A pairing justified by the potential dinner parties alone. And Season 4 of Borgen BABY!
No explanation required.
Sure, the convenient name thing again, but this match goes deeper. A couple of things you may not know about Walliams: he loves tennis* and shares the same birthday as me (20th August). That makes him a Leo and Serena is a Virgo so that’s a game, set and match made in heaven.**
I like the alliteration and the fact that notorious homophobe Bob Katter would have to marry a dude, but most of all I reckon they’d get along. They both talk absolute nonsense and when any failings are pointed out in their logic, it’s Teflon time. Their family motto could be “nothing to see here”. It’s good to have a family motto, mine is “What’s Cookin’ Good Lookin’?”
The probability of these two hitting it off is 99 per cent. The first date would be a bellwether moment, but I predict success and while we won’t know for sure for a couple of weeks, I am calling it for the Lucas-Greens. The wedding cake could be a pie chart.
I haven’t watched Neighbours for about 20 years but even I know Dr Carl still lives on Ramsey St. Both these men are features of my childhood and are still kicking around dishing out a bit of mad logic with a killer smile. Sure, Dr Karl’s dress sense is probs a bit out there for Dr Carl, but opposites attract. And they can share the same monogrammed towels.
My favourite pairing. I do feel a tiny bit bad about doubling up on Game of Thrones but Aya Stark is one of the greatest television characters of all time and goodness knows she deserves a bit of love. Who better than to love her than Lisbeth Salander, one of the greatest fictional characters of all time; also possibly in need of a cuddle. Family Motto: fuck with me and die. BOOM.
Both have about as much to offer public life as a festering sore on a dead maggot. Best they distract each other and leave the rest of us alone.
Ok, I may be getting carried away with the name thing – but shit this one made me laugh and I like these two together. Matt is as camp as Christmas (those suits!) and Vince is sharp. I can see them shopping at Preston Markets and slow-cooking an Osso Bucco of a weekend.
Tony squared would be somewhat painful for Messrs Martin and Abbott but I think they could make it work. One day we’ll find out Abbott and Costello weren’t a diabolical political combination but a fabulous comedy duo (on repeat) and we were being punked all along. Ok, so some people got hurt on the way, but all good comedy comes from great pain… including a double poke to the eye of poor people, refugees, women, the LGBTI community and workers.
One, if Trump married himself he’d be thrilled and I like to spread the joy. Two, he couldn’t reproduce with himself which would be a relief to us all. Three, the force of Donald could be so great (he’s going to eliminate crime and make American Great Again) that if Donald were squared he might disintegrate – poof! Just like that! Leaving behind a comb-over and a giant set of brilliant white teeth. Look, nothing else is working, surely it’s worth a try.
Ladies and gents, the next few years are going to be tough and you’ve only got one limbic system. Pace yourself and laugh when you can.
As you were.
*Absolutely no idea if he likes tennis.
**Ditto about star signs.
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In a double-win for progressive voters, Labor Senator Lisa Singh has produced an improbable victory in Tasmania, while the Greens have scraped home to claim a second spot in the state.
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