Fear Of A Brown Planeteer Meets White Customs Official: You Can Guess The Outcome

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Depending on your perspective, Aamer Rahman may actually be a terrorist.

Admittedly, we have no firm evidence of that. But there’s certainly plenty of anecdotal material.

Firstly, he looks like a terrorist (he’s a self-described ‘brown person’).

He’s known for wearing t-shirts like the one below, which promote causes like ‘Palestine’.

He also sounds a lot like a terrorist (he’s on record making lots of public comments about 'white people this' and 'white people that').

So, you know, if something looks like a terrorist and they sound like a terrorist, then they’re probably a terrorist.

Or possibly a stand-up comedian.

Both are inherently dangerous.

This afternoon, Rahman headed off on yet another international comedy tour (to the United States and the United Kingdom). Worryingly, he’s making a stopover in Qatar.

Do the math people… subversive brown person publicly critical of the Australian Government is planning to fly overseas via the Middle East?

Thank God for the people protecting our borders, the front-line personnel of Australian Customs… who decided to single Rahman out for a quick interview. Here’s what happened, in Rahman’s own words (via his facebook page).

As I cleared Australian customs to leave the country, the woman at the desk turned around and handed my passport to an armed customs officer who started going through my passport and asking me questions I had already just answered in writing. He began by assuming I was a foreign national even though he was HOLDING MY AUSTRALIAN PASSPORT IN HIS HANDS.”

Customs Officer: So you live… ahhh. Oh. Here. Ok.

Me: lol.

Customs Officer: So you're going to Qatar, then London, then the US.

Me: Yep. (as stated on my card). So, what is this?

Customs Officer: What?

Me: This. What is this exactly?

Customs Officer: Well ahhhh. As you can see, we're talking to people.

Me: I'm sure you are.

Customs Officer: Yeah, we're talking to people who we want to talk to.

Me: Um. Ok.

Customs Officer: So why are you going to these places?

Me: For employment (as stated on my card).

Customs Officer: What kind of employment?

Me: I'm a standup comedian.

Customs Officer: Hmm. You seem pretty serious now.

[AWKWARD SILENCE FROM BOTH PARTIES]

Customs Officer: So, what's your comedy about?

Me: It's hard to describe.

Customs Officer: Well… is it about, like, life?

Me: Yes. Life (He looks through my passport and finds my Edinburgh festival visa from years ago).

Customs Officer: What's that? 'Fear of a Brown Planet'?

END SCENE

The next people questioned were a hijabi and her kids.

You can follow the work of ‘subversive potential terrorist and/or brown comedian’ Aamer Rahman here. His twitter feed is worth a follow too (ASIO, we’re talking to you). He is, of course, the other half of 'Fear of a Brown Planet' with Nazeem Hussein.

Rahman has also got a new DVD coming out in a couple of months called The Truth Hurts. New Matilda will bring you more details when it’s available.

 

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New Matilda

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