The Down To Earth Starguide For Sceptics And Cynics


Horoscopes for the week of 7 June, 2010

Mercury’s ingress boosts your schmoozing ability, and just in time. Ahead of Saturday’s new moon you will have to work hard to reinvent yourself, but then you’ll rise, Christine-Nixon-like, from the ashes. Geminis do know how to turn a disaster into a management opportunity.

There is potential to inject new energy into your relationships this week as Venus gets a leg-up from a major conjunction. Next weekend you’ll have an epiphany which should clear up a few distracting worries. Like all your decisive moments it will happen in the bath.

Obama almost apologised for the oil spill last week, and then he offered to "stand with the people of the Gulf Coast until they are made whole". This week is all about solidarity. Your Leo ego might not know the meaning of the word, but at least you sound convincing as you threaten good folks with rhetorical craft glue.

Like Rudd, no matter how hard you try, everyone talks about you as if you’ve failed. Making the right small choices isn’t enough — what Virgos need is some big-picture vision. The weekend’s new moon will bring it and Mars might even make you tough enough to own it. Take a risk for once in your life.

Benjamin Netanyahu has found himself in a diplomatic crisis — that’s what you get for sticking to the old siege mentality. Libra, your paranoia is not helping anyone. Find a belief system which doesn’t require so much military defence, cause this is getting expensive.

BP and Halliburton are building a legal team and donating hard to political campaigns in the slick, ever-spreading wake of the oil spill. If you can’t clean up the mess you’re in, look for a way to turn a profit from your failure, and don’t be afraid to ask for help, even if you have to pay for it.

Kristina Keneally won’t call an early election, perhaps because the whole Punch and Judy show of NSW politics is too ridiculous to warrant one. There’s a new moon in your relationship sector next weekend — look forward to a fresh coalition which might strengthen your uneasy grip on power.

Bob Brown wants to be included in debates like his fellow Capricorn Nick Clegg. Have you considered that your consistent ability to make intelligent observations is the very thing that keeps you out of such forums? You can stay in your smarty-pants corner until you learn to be strategically stupid.

The weekend’s new moon brings an opportunity to change your role, and Mercury will help you redraft the resignation letter until it’s perfect. You will be pleased to find that the awful feeling of time slipping away was work-related, but the awful feeling of going slowly crazy was just you.

A weight is lifting from Piscean shoulders as the world’s troubles become someone else’s problem. You’re so engaged of late that you can’t go on holidays lest you get caught up in a political or environmental struggle; this is a good week to learn that selling out begins at home.

Aries Peter Garrett is not having a great week, given that nobody tells him anything, but whining about it is not going to get you back in the loop. It only gives voters evidence of your having given up the pretence of party unity, which is nice, in its way. Work is against you this week, but there’s some good news on the horizon.

Your ruler in cuddly Cancer makes you sook your way through this week, and the waning moon is only adding to your vulnerability. Hey, some people like that kind of thing. Granted, they are generally sociopaths with complexes about their mothers, but that’s better than nothing.

Launched in 2004, New Matilda is one of Australia's oldest online independent publications. It's focus is on investigative journalism and analysis, with occasional smart arsery thrown in for reasons of sanity. New Matilda is owned and edited by Walkley Award and Human Rights Award winning journalist Chris Graham.