Down to Earth Star Guide for Skeptics and Cynics


You’ve been having trouble getting through to your listeners, but never fear. Tomorrow, the lines will be open for you to speak more clearly. The weekend’s full moon will charge your inner crusader, so prepare to be unusually articulate and driven, and armed to stake some (hopefully metaphorical) infidels.

As I mentioned last week, your work life is altering. Perhaps it’s time for you to slink away like John Laws to write terrible poetry in the comfortable surroundings you built yourself over the cash-for-comment years. Don’t arrange any new partnerships until the weekend, even for tennis, because you might end up a ball short.

With the Blue Moon in your house of showmanship, it’s time to work some magic. Tomorrow’s planets give you the added boost of engaging rhetoric; whether or not you have something to say is up to you. You might not have the Tampa-style tricks down pat like some folks, but you can probably still manage to saw yourself in half.

Uncertainty in your relationships will surround you this week, as your sense of community seems unstable and ephemeral. However, by the weekend you will have a more concrete notion of where you are heading, and who else is along for the ride. It’s a rare shot at the kind of emotional stability you pretend not to need.

The Blue Moon in your house of communication gives you a chance to argue your point this week, and to do so in a calm and rational manner. Your ability to look at a situation with emotional distance is heightened by lingering circumstances which leave you less than inspired. Finish what you have to say and get on with it.

An Alice Springs man rolled his car in the KFC drive-through last weekend. I’m not sure, but I think he could have been a Sagittarian. Your usual composure is threatened by shifts of a financial or practical
nature, and the rush you’re in to get to that greasy booty could put you in danger. Chillax already, it’s only chicken.

This weekend’s Blue Moon belongs to you, and if by Saturday you are still standing alone without a dream in your heart, there is definitely something wrong with you. Inflated senses of self-worth are all the rage for Capricorns right now when else would you hear Mal Brough described as a hero?

Aquarian Scientologist John Travolta recently argued that the Virginia Tech shootings were caused by kids these days taking too many anti-depressants. You too might have had a point to make, if you weren’t instantly disqualified from commenting by two things: a lack of expertise, and the fact that you are totally cuckoo.

You might consider going into hiding like our Piscean Attorney General, as the rest of his government is busy trampling the remnants of the Racial Discrimination Act (and other laws he is paid to uphold). This week, Pisceans are most likely found skulking in darkened alleyways, muttering ‘shame job’ under their breath.

A job offer or promotion is up for grabs this week, and you are well placed to seize the opportunity with a little unashamed schmoozing and sweet-talking of people in the know. It’s a good week to mix work and social events, but watch yourself on the grog – you don’t want to end up under martial law now do you?

This week is all about safety, stability, and a prevalence of reassuring things like cardigans, hot water bottles, and greeting cards featuring wan-looking kittens. Sadly, these are the minimum requirements needed for you to dream up an ideal future. Knowing you, it will probably involve sheepskin and warm milk.

Vagueness may have beset you of late, a la Chief Minister Formerly Governing the Northern Territory, Clare Martin. But the planets tell me you will soon find your passion and ability to speak out revived like a three year old pulled out of a wading pool. Much like that kid, you will probably just wail all day long.

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