Down to Earth Starguide for Skeptics and Cynics


Taurean Tony Blair no longer uses the phrase ‘war on terror’ to describe British involvement in the Middle East. He’s changing the name, but the troops aren’t moving an inch. A pleasant Pluto alignment will allow you to make style changes this week, but don’t expect shallow alterations to bring you any popularity.

Your social advancement is hampered by unconscious desires this week, so watch out for machinations behind the scenes. Left field propositions and mysterious attacks will be the jousting sticks that threaten to throw you off your high horse. Kick in your heels and keep your eye on that sunset.

If college massacres aren’t an argument against the right to bear arms, I don’t know what is. This week, your faith in your ideology will be challenged by growing dissatisfaction from those around you. It might be a good idea to lie perfectly still and pretend to be dead until it all blows over.

The pressure should ease this week, as frustrations dissipate and another step on the road to success seems possible. The headwind you’ve been fighting is changing in your favour, but it’s still a good idea to avoid pulling spiteful faces until the weekend. Alterations will not necessarily be painless.

The honeymoon might be over, but it’s not all doom and gloom from here. Keep your momentum going. The worst thing you can do right now is freeze up. This applies equally to your social and professional life your inner life is like an old bag of peas, and may never entirely defrost.

Libran Brian Ferry has had to apologise for his little faux pas about loving the Nazi style. Justifying your taste is hard enough when it doesn’t involve mass murder and inappropriate moustaches. This week you will have a similarly humbling moment regarding your aesthetic choices, which are not always infallible.

I am supposed to warn you against being short-tempered and snappy this week, and tell you to think before you open that damn fool mouth of yours. However, I reckon honesty is a worthwhile risk as well as a lonely word. You may even effect a much-needed restoration of balance.

Nepotism at top levels of the World Bank has forced its Sagittarian ruler, Paul Wolfowitz, to justify his privileges. I am wondering how you can give a toss about debt relief when you’re earning as much as he is. This week you will have a revelation about your own hypocritical tendency to live in excess.

The ‘who can say the stupidest thing about Aboriginal people’ competition among Liberals may have a winner Mal Brough claims that standards of living and efforts at reconciliation have gone consistently backwards for the last 10 years because for most of that time, we still had ATSIC. Other Capricorns must make up for him, or I will judge you all forever.

It is a hurdle so tiny that, if you notice it at all, you will laugh and scoff at its puny matchstickness but it still has the power to trip you up. Princesses and peas, Davids and Goliaths; this is a week in which you should tread very carefully, and avoid stepping on even the most diminutive of toes.

Turkish Prime Minister and Piscean Recep Tayyip Erdogan is challenged by secularist protesters as he tries to make President. No one seems bothered by his long-held faith in football, which he played semi-professionally for 16 years. Selective historians will be offside this week, but the ref won’t see them. It’s up to you to stop the goalposts from moving.

Pulling the rug out from under people is not the nicest thing to do, but it’s a quick way to startle them into movement. This week, a limited amount of mischievous energy will be available to you, so use it wisely. Disruption for its own sake is fine, but why phone in a prank when you could be making a wake-up call?

Launched in 2004, New Matilda is one of Australia's oldest online independent publications. It's focus is on investigative journalism and analysis, with occasional smart arsery thrown in for reasons of sanity. New Matilda is owned and edited by Walkley Award and Human Rights Award winning journalist Chris Graham.