Down to Earth Star Guide for Skeptics and Cynics


The sun enters your sign, bringing Autumn with it. Other birthdays being celebrated this week include the war in Iraq, which is turning four. What equivalent battles have you been fighting for too long? The stars bode ill for violent or controlling strategies. It’s not too late, nor is it weak, to seek a diplomatic solution.

Idleness can be a great achievement. I once tried to convince myself that laziness was a Zen discipline (I was reading back-to-back Steinbeck). Your zest for life won’t be as tempestuous as the last few weeks, but it’s still gloriously present. Enjoy this grace period with a cup of tea, a comfy chair, and a copy of Cannery Row.

Don’t concern yourself with getting things done. It’s true, there have been too many delays lately, but if you force yourself to meet an unrealistic goal you will end up turning into the white rabbit. Go and check your ears in the mirror right now. If they look longer and/or furry, you have permission to smash your watch.

This week it is two hundred years since the British government passed the Abolition of the Slave Trade Act, but it took them another thirty years or so to emancipate their own. I’m telling you this because it’s a good week for you to examine your hypocrisies, with a view to doing something about them. Eventually.

This week, forceful convictions come up against systems and laws. Revolutionary Leos will find themselves persecuted for their radical beliefs but there is also a real chance to shift the power base. If you have been locked up in Guantanamo Bay for the last five years, you should be a little more resilient than your enemy.

As Mercury comes gently back down from its hot-air retrograde you will feel a restoration of balance in your life. It may not manifest in your budget, your time management, or even the bathroom scales. You might simply succeed, after weeks of effort, in your mission to stand a potato on a drinking straw.

Clues and opportunities are floating around, but I’m afraid you still need to persevere for a while. It has been uphill for too long, but that’s why they call it a learning curve. The bad news is you need patience, which is not your strong point. The good news is that you are almost as clever and capable as you think you are.

In any conflict, you’re normally right in the fray Scorpios are why they invented phrases like tooth and claw. This week you will startle everyone, not least yourself, with a capacity for conflict resolution. You may not be the reason they invented phrases like sugar and spice, but sometimes an honest intervention is the best defusion.

With an urge to start fresh fighting for supremacy, your capacity to sabotage what you’ve already achieved is at an all-time high. Use the fire sign art of sumptuous destruction with caution and you may achieve a controlled burning just enough to rid yourself of excess. I am rationing you to one box of matches.

Institutional changes will take place this week and ambitious Capricorns will be the first to snap up any power vacuums. Be careful. In circumstances like these, the next head could also be the next victim of the guillotine. Beware of French peasants and offers that are too good to be true.

You hold to your convictions this week. Ordinarily, I’d say this was an admirable trait. Right now that stubbornness will get you into trouble. Turning tables over in the marketplace will likely lead to altercations with security guards, teases about rent-a-cops, and possibly a shit-kicking. You have been warned.

A man in Kazakhstan was recently arrested for smuggling a grenade in a pot of honey. This week, you might find yourself using a similar trick to fool people into thinking you’re harmless. I suggest you try it the other way around, Pisces. Disguise your sweetness as a weapon of mass destruction

Launched in 2004, New Matilda is one of Australia's oldest online independent publications. It's focus is on investigative journalism and analysis, with occasional smart arsery thrown in for reasons of sanity. New Matilda is owned and edited by Walkley Award and Human Rights Award winning journalist Chris Graham.