satire
9 Jul 2008
Don't Mention the Crusades
Ben Pobjie's hot tips on how to avoid annoying Catholics during World Youth Day
Catholics are people who believe that the entire universe was created just for us by a loving and benevolent and all-knowing God who came to earth in human form in order to sacrifice himself to himself to avoid his problem of having to send all the humans he made to hell for the sins he knew in advance they were going to commit.These are the people who will be descending upon Sydney this month for World Youth Day. Yet the NSW Government, apparently unsatisfied with existing laws against vilification of the mentally ill, has decided to introduce special police powers to keep the Catholics happy and stress-free.
Of course, the part of these powers that has aroused the most comment is the power to arrest and fine those who "cause annoyance" to World Youth Day "pilgrims".
On the face of it, this seems like perfectly reasonable and even-handed repression - how can a society truly be called civilised if annoying people are allowed to remain free? - but there is a disturbing subtext.
We know why it's Catholics in particular who are being shielded from annoyance by the State Government. For a start, Muslims are too easy to annoy, making such laws unfair, while Jehovah's Witnesses are too difficult, making such laws pointless.
But the main thrust of the crackdown is, as usual, the typical government hatred of people having fun. Morris Iemma knows how much fun it is to annoy Catholics, so he just has to spoil it for everyone. This anti-fun philosophy is behind government bans on all sorts of things, such as drag racing, and heroin. God forbid any decent, hard-working Australians enjoy some harmless Catholic baiting at the end of a long day. God forbid anyone experience the simple pleasures of a urine-soaked crucifix.
However, as a serious investigative journalist, I have a responsibility to be even-handed about this. Just what is World Youth Day, and why should we try to ruin it?
Well, according to their website, it is an event where "young people throughout the world will make a pilgrimage in faith, meet, and experience the love of God". Just like Schoolies Week. It also lasts six days, demonstrating the same puckish Christian sense of chronological inaccuracy that inspires the traditional Easter belief that there are three days between Friday and Sunday.
Like all good celebrations of youth, WYD is centred around an 81-year-old man. Pope Benedict is all about the young people, whom he needs both to keep the Church vibrant and relevant, and to hold him upright during the daylight hours.
After all, as Benedict himself has said, "audiamus oportet accuratius". Can anybody really doubt the truth of this?
Now it may seem that WYD is a slightly exclusionary event, in that it excludes almost everyone, but this is an over-simplification. While it is true that if you are a Protestant or a Muslim or a Mormon or a Seventh-Day Adventist or a Hindu or a Buddhist or an atheist or a Ba'hai or a Zoroastrian or a Scientologist or someone who dislikes creepy teenagers clapping along to awful music, the event has little to offer you, that doesn't necessarily mean WYD is completely off-limits to the wider community.
The funky exciting events on offer include a "Papal boat-a-cade", which sounds so wonderful that I might suffer a massive stroke just imagining what it involves, as well as the traditional Stations of the Cross, in which enthusiastic young people will trek around the most picturesque areas of Sydney re-enacting Jesus's last moments in a truly inspirational celebration of death and torture.
If that's not enough to bring people together, Guy Sebastian has written a WYD song, to be performed by himself and Paulini, which will surely unite people of all faiths and creeds in a collective attempt to gnaw off their own heads.
Even more heart-warmingly, little Sophie Delezio has been granted a special audience with the Pope, during which she will plead with him to ask God to stop throwing cars at her. Sophie says that while at the meeting, she will be "praying for all the sick kids", so if your child happens to die any time after WYD, you'll know who to blame.
World Youth Day truly is a spiritual event that will bring together many people from all walks of life except those walks of life that aren't Catholic. And so, weighing it all up, although it may be a profound inconvenience to Sydney residents, a massive waste of taxpayers' money, and a disturbing assault on the principle of separation of Church and State, it is also true that Catholics can get pretty nasty when they're annoyed, so it's probably best to leave them alone.
Therefore, it's important, when walking around Sydney between the 15th and 20th July, to avoid some simple mistakes that could cause annoyance:
- Avoid using contraception when Catholics are present.
- Do not wear T-shirts with inflammatory slogans, such as "Priests Do It Til You're Pubescent" or "I Got Hammered With Christ".
- Be careful not to blurt out insensitive remarks, like "Anselm's ontological proof is an absurdity that does nothing to demonstrate the necessity of an omnipotent deity, as Gaunilo of Marmoutiers effectively shows", or: "Catholics are crap".
- Refrain from having abortions for the duration of the event.
- Don't mention the Crusades.
- Do not mug World Youth Day pilgrims or attack them with blunt instruments (in many ways, this is good advice for other times of the year as well).
- Do not under any circumstances point out how stupid Catholicism is.
Most of all, do not read this article out in public or email it to all of your friends. If there's one thing I hate, it's annoying Catholics. If you know what I mean.
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Ben,
‘Catholics are people who believe that the entire universe was created just for us by a loving and benevolent and all-knowing God who came to earth in human form in order to sacrifice himself to himself to avoid his problem of having to send all the humans he made to hell for the sins he knew in advance they were going to commit.’
Brilliant ! As is the rest. And most of it applies to most religions, as pre-capitalist attempts to explain what people are ignorant about, which was pretty much everything. Joe
Joe people are still ignorant about everything , its just we have lost the imagination to create new religions.
Think of the scope available nowadays , stoned for the blasphemy of having an incandescent light globe ……
oops pills aren’t working :)
Yes, I heard about those three people stoned to death in western Queensland for having incandescent light bulbs.
Oh no, that was Zimbabwe, and for voting for the MDC, that’s right. And it was twenty, young guys who were guarding a party of refugees expelled from the South African embassy grounds. And I think they were beaten to death with clubs. And Mugabe used to be a priest, so what’s new ?
Meanwhile, back in Sydney, the singing and dancing is about to begin. Praise the Lord. Joe
Oh I love that first sentence! (I love the other sentences as well)
I’m thinking of buying a Pope teaspoon because it’s very kitsch and it will confound my friends
Ben, do you know if they’re planning on televising the Opus Dei self-flagellation parade? Seeing that would make the closed roads, and the suspension of freedom of speech almost worth tolerating. Just have plenty of sheets of painters drop-cloths available to shield the kiddies from the blood being splashed about.
Brilliant stuff as always!
What about pointed sticks if we can’t use blunt instruments?
BTW - you can go to http://remogeneralstore.com/pages/designcompetition.cfm?pk=122&uuid=D708… and vote for your favourite World Youth Day t-shirt.
My personal favourite is: "I survived a Christian Brothers education", although "We close 300 roads so 300,000 can close their minds" was pretty good.
Cant beat Joe to the punch as always….
Hey, Ben, didnt ya think to question the Pontif on his revival of his Hitler Youth Days?? Ah those happy days
Not only with this make the dirty catholic priests salivate, it might make the once Nazi/sympathiser joyous to see the Brown shirts and SS march again in the name of GOD
Ben, what motivates such "serious investigative journalism"?
I think you have managed to throw every supposed disproof of the Catholic Church you can pull off the internet into 800 words. Not bad.
And Wikipedia for the Spanish inquisition?
I’d encourage all of you to get down there and talk to some real Catholics and the many non-Catholics you will, in fact, find. Maybe you’ll be a little better informed then?
gabatronic, will the ‘real Catholics’ have funny t-shirts on too or will they be the ones with open minds?
Let me guess, they’re the ones that are obeying.
Sorry about the Wiki link, Gab. I couldn’t find the Inquisition’s official website. Could you give me the URL, because I’d actually like to get hold of a Torquemada bobble-head.
Ben, is this Satire?
Like all the other contemporary anti-muslim, antisemitic anti-christian bigoted garbage in today’s media this sort of stuff falls, semi-spell checked, straight out of the average horse’s ass!
For millenia it has taken far more than the dimwitted likes of the very average journalist to take a swing at Muslims, Catholics, Jews or any of the other great religions of the world. They have all survived and will continue to survive long after the urine soaked tombstones of those "journalists" have rotten away.
Good on the Catholics, they make a lot of sense.
If the Papacy ever decides to embark on another crusade I want to convert to Catholicism just for the pleasure of being able to beat the crap out of our modern self styled "serious investigative journalist(s)" just before burning them all at the stake!
But crusades are no longer "politically correct" unless they are conducted by secular "Western states" and involve the mass genocide of millions of Iraqis and Afghans. We can always rely on our ever vigilant secular "serious investigative journalists" to remind us why the mass murder of millions of people in oil rich regions of the world is really all justified and that it’s the activites of the Catholics which should prompt our outrage.
Pity we can’t stick this kind of shallow and infantile crap straight back up the horse’s ass instead of letting it stink up the pages of New Matilda!
George Vickers
Speaking of the average horse’s ass, g’day George. Let me get this straight - you support the return of the Inquisition, yet oppose (is this right?) the mass murder of millions of people in oil rich regions (as we all should, of course) ? Well, I guess we could say, George, that you are only half-arsed. Joe
But George, aren’t you impressed by the way I got the spell-checker inside the horse?
Don’t miss my next pro-mass murder piece next week!
I said nothing about the "Inquisition" Joe, so, technically, and by your own logic, you must be the half-arse (which makes BPobjie the other half)
It will please you to know that I really do agree with you for a change Joe.
"pro-mass" - very sharp Ben.
Have you been taking lessons?
Wow, George, I was expecting the Catholics to threaten Ben with death, but you’ve beat them to the punch! It’s good of you to be insulted on their behalf, though. Are you thinking of replacing Jesus?
- Got Elf?
George Vickers keeps talking about a horse’s ass. Does he mean a donkey or mule, or a fool, or all three things? And why does a horse own them? Let me tell you about a post I put on an ABC forum about the commandments, where I referred to "coveting thy neighbour’s ass". The young ABC journalist running the forum changed my post to "coveting thy neighbour’s butt". Is this what the priests do? Does George Vickers approve of it?
Man, that "no annoying Catholics" list leaves me with absolutely nothing to do. But I like a challenge so maybe I’ll go find a Jehovah’s Witness instead.
Ben I thought that all the news headlines had to be about global warming. I guess all these catholics doing their thing must have produced a lot of greenhouse gases or have they made themselves carbon neutral? It would have been a lot better for the planet if they had all stayed at home (the same goes for the G8 mob).
Funny how some things are never mentioned, I did hear that the genocide in Ruanda was carried out by christians and that they broke the world record for the number of people killed in one day. I wonder what the media would have said if the killers had been muslims.
Peterbest, nothing escapes you does it?
Your unnatural interest is "ass" and "butt" and "coveting" is decidedly odd though. Have you consulted anybody about that problem?
To answer your question though, I must admit, yes, a size 12 boot right up the best peter’s ass you can show me would go a long way to putting a great big smile on my face.
I thought that peter had spelt it out clearly enough it seems not for some people. george - the point was that an ass is not an arse and is not interchangable with the word butt or bottom or anus. an ass is a donkey (Equus asinus) in the commandment mentioned. Consequently it translates do not covet (desire inordinately) thy neighbour’s ass (possessions), which has nothing whatsoever to do with the posterior. and you bettter not kick peter’s ass or you will be in all sorts of trouble with animal rights groups unless of course you meant peter’s fool in which case you’re fairly safe unless he’s a catholic.
Dear All
Can we direct comments to the article and on the issues?
Personal attacks are not acceptable and death threats - tongue in cheek or otherwise - will not be tolerated.
Regards
Rod McGuinness
newmatilda.com
There’s a biblical reference to the "jawbone of an ass". Enough said.
Beautiful article Ben, but the posts raise so many questions. If you and Joe are the two halves of an arse how do you go about turning the other cheek when George sticks his size twelve between you? It is lucky we have the Catholic Church to answer such mind boggling theological problems.
I happened to be at the Sydney Council finance meeting where a group of WYD planners were asking to be able to destroy Hyde Park and have the council rebuild it at our expense.
When one of the councillors suggested his constituants might not approve of the city spending their cash on such an enterprise one of the Catholic women leaped up to declare that she fully expected the populace to be carried away on a ‘tsunami of joy’. A ‘tsunami of joy’, irresistable and likely to leave you clinging overnight to a tree with some of your clothes ripped off. A bit like Todd McKinney.
I am not sure when she predicts the tsunami will hit, but enjoy these moments of irony while you can, because its on the way.
Hi George,
The image of Ben and me going cheek-to-cheek is one way for us both to share habits with the clergy, I suppose.
Is there actually someone named Rod McGuiness or is this just the nom-de-plume (so to speak) of a Catholic porn star ?
But yes, ‘Rod’, you are right - we should get back to the issues because there is no valour in e-sledging. So what are the issues ? For example, is the Labour party Catholic establishment using its current political power to give their Church a free kick or two ? And to cover the arses of people like P**l and the ‘celibate’ priesthood ? [Let them get married, for Christ’s sake, and find proper vessels for their Holy Spirit. That way, they might leave the kids alone.]
Oh I forgot, for current litigious purposes, there is no such entity as ‘the [Roman] Catholic Church’ - it’s all down to the parishes and dioceses that have responsibility for schools, etc. ? Joe
Did you mean ‘annoying Catholics’ as in to keep away from them because they are annoying, or is our freedom of expression being threatened once again?
Amusing as some of the posts have been (and your article is quite funny Ben), a very important point has been missed.
We’re very quick to criticise the US when they call their national baseball competition ‘The World Series’, yet nobody has complained about the Catholics using the term ‘World Youth Day’ when it actually only refers to a Catholic World Youth Day and runs for more like a week.
To George Vickers - Lockjaw?…
To your question: Ben, is this Satire?
The first word of this article is the giveaway -
SATIRE
9 Jul 2008
Don’t Mention the Crusades
Next question?
P.S. get a life.
Hi Denise
Many have already highlighted the strange description of a six day event as World Youth Day. I wasn’t the first but did so on PollieGraph here
Cheers Bob
The nuns in Hyde Park looked as if they were celebrating World Middle-Aged Day or even World Pensioners’ Day, but perhaps nuns spring fully grown-up from the womb, primed for proselytising work in the Dark Continent, bibles in hand and wire-rimmed glasses and sensible shoes already on. Not a comfortable birth for their mothers, but evolution is bound to take some strange turns. After all, it produces giraffes and rhinoceroses so nuns would be a doddle. Still, it’s just as well the Creator decided that people that mad mustn’t be permitted to breed.
Why would anyone be surprised that the catholic church would resort to blatant misrepresentation in its promotion of this silly carnival? After all, they’re one of the biggest corporations in the world. Would anyone expect them to be any different from Coca Cola or Microsoft as they seek to become Masters of the Universe? Of course not. Eschew condoms, even if it means you’ll get AIDS, produce babies, even if it means your family starves to death, bow to authority, even when the authority is a murderous dicatorship in South America and, above all, Have a Nice Day!
Rod McGuinness, if NM or anyone else’s interpretation of any of my posts is that it is a death threat then please delete it immediately. I have never nor will I ever level a death threat at another person.
Booting a peterbest’s ass, by whatever definition or name he calls it, is quite another matter, and a topic for a different occassion.
Now I know standards have slipped on New Matilda of late, but when a decision is taken about what is or is not "tolerated" on NM is it okay, for example, for participants to fill your site with anti-semitic or Islamophibic or anti-christian or racist or homophobic or any other bigotted trash levelled at any specific group of Australians on the basis of their beliefs or choice of lifestyle?
Is there a list of Australian groups which are considered "open" for attack or a list which is considered "protected" from criticism and attack?
I hold an unfair advantage while there is one of me and only a few dozen of these weak charactered half wits grouped together in their cheap little bigotted anti-catholic cheer squad, but I cannot not speak out when this sort of spineless and gutless attack occurs against a specific group of fellow Australians, particularly not when that group frequently comes out in support of my own religious group.
Perhaps I should wait until there are a few more dozen spineless and bigotted participants to show up before I participate in this filthy charade. GV
I used to play filthy charades. Some of that stuff is devilishly difficult to act out.
To Rod McGuiness, if George is right please send me a list of the protected groups so that I can attack them in a similarly spineless and gutless fashion. I want to be fair.
Catholics don’t have to threaten me with mass murder, they could get me to shut up just by threatening me with mass. I mean, have you ever sat through one of those things? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Hi Rockjaw
Your comment was deleted.
This article by Ben Pobjie, like his previous articles on newmatilda.com suggest nothing is off-limits and any issue or group is fair game. I think it needs to again be stated that Ben’s articles are satire. They are not written to please everyone and obviously each individual reader has a different response to a piece.
I made a statement on this thread earlier as we felt the comments had shifted from a light hearted discussion of the article to personal ridicule and insult. We will not tolerate this and will make our own judgement on what is acceptable and what is not. We will delete comments which we decide are inappropriate or offensive.
There are views published which we may not agree with or support. Regardless, if such statements contribute to discussion without personal attacks they remain published on the site.
Joe, I’m unsure what to make of your somewhat odd comment regarding my
name. We’ve corresponded in the past so I’m fairly sure you are familiar
with me. Unless you know something I should be aware of?!?!
Dr Dog, there is no list!
Regards
Rod
newmatilda.com
Ben,
I think some of your readers haven’t seen the word ‘comedy’ and/or satire’ in a long time. I’m a Catholic and whilst I might cringe a little at what you say I would defend your right to express this because, frankly, the dark days of suppression and domination by church authorities are over - even though many signs indicate otherwise. As a large and powerful institution the Catholic Church needs to be able to accept a joke - especially one at its own expense. It’s not about being humble so much as being confident in one’s beliefs, and respecting others who don’t share them.
I fear that George is ignoring my exhortation to have a nice day and instead searching for someone to whom he can say :"Make my day! " while menacing them with a crucifix and a garlic-smeared stake. Spur on your faithful Rosinante, George, and put those windmills to flight!
On a more serious note, I think any group or individual is fair game for satire and ridicule if they do something pompous, silly or dishonest. World Youth Day seems to me to qualify on all grounds, though I don’t doubt that many sincere people will have a fabulous time discussing abstruse theological issues while getting wasted down at the Rocks. Given that any friendships that develop among the millions of ecstatic pilgrims will be required doctrinally to proceed without any form of birth control could it be that we’ll see an entire generation of babies born 9 months after this mighty celebration? Troops of little Sidneys and Morrises and Georges in tribute to the city, the premier and the archbishop.
And now charades are filthy? is nothing sacred?
Sorry, Rod. You are entitled to take on whatever nom de plume that you like. Joe
I’ve just been told that Rockjaw works at The Chaser. Is this true? It would seem, judging from Rod McGuinness’s last post, this time they’ve gone too far. Thank heavens the motorcade was intercepted and deleted before it reached His Holiness. Or is Rod McGuiness from The Chaser? Uh-oh!
Hi Rod
Thank you
Regards George
George, not a problem.
All the best
Rod
newmatilda.com
Thanks Rod, I feared as much. I will have to make up my own list of people that deserve to be protected and then attack them on principle.
Thanks too for generating the outbreak of civility. The schoolyard was getting a bit rough.
Civility is all very nice, but isn’t it servility that World Youth Week is all about? Happy pilgrims frolic while their brains are laundered free of charge! Why don’t we run it as a spectacle, like the State of Origin, by inviting the American Christian Right to compete? Hillsong may attract go-getters wanting divine sanction for large-C Capitalism and a guarantee that no discomfort will be involved in their journey through the eye of the needle but they’re wusses compared with the fire-and-brimstone mob from the U.S of A. Who will be left behind in the sulphurous pit as the other side flutters up in rapture? Put them on Pinchgut and let them go! You could combine it with fireworks! I hope the tourist people are reading this thread. It’s gold, gold, gold!
As an atheist, I don’t really give a toss about this particular gathering, any more than I would care one way or the other about the annual ten-million-strong Haj to Mecca, or the annual Ashura to Najaf, or the annual birth of Ram or whatever on the Ganges: it’s their business, it’s reactionary as buggery, but it’s theirs, they get a kick out of it, so let them go for it. That’s the nature of a broad, civil society, one in which no group dictates to any other, out of which, one day, true socialism will be born - apart from those silly laws about annoying Catholics. Joe
Perhaps, Denise, it is true that World Youth Day, in being only about Catholics, being centred on an elderly man, and lasting for almost a week, is a triple misnomer. In the vein of the previous Catholic prank, the Holy Roman Empire.
You cant e-sledge people by calling them monkeys ?? !!! WTF ? Was there any doubt Joe, Dr "Phil" Dog and BenPobje Kenobi were all closet catholics !
As for the holier than thou atheists, they are just pissed they cant get any followers of any strentgh
Of course, as an atheist, I feel superior to poor silly believers in their own creations. But perhaps we can play the ball, not the man, Expat ? I’m a bit worried about your monkey fetish, however. Joe
What’s the world coming to?
Do politicians think that they have the sole right to regulate what we can and can’t say in public? It seems that those holding public office deem that the general public has to have every second of their life governed, whether they want it or not.
Enacting draconian laws so one religion can supposedly have a trouble free event is ludicrous for a start. It’s like waving a red rag at a bull. Especially considering the history of the Catholic Church.
This is the church that gave us the Inquisition, the Marist Brothers and a heap of paedophiles. Maybe our legislators ought to look at better protecting the general public from priests/brothers/nuns/ in Catholic Church who abuse their power.
Cardinal Pell should be stood down for a start. The man doesn’t have an iota of compassion for victims of sexual abuse at the hands of his minions. Denial seems to be a constant theme within the Catholic Church. Of course Pell wants this all to go away before his boss arrives, though I doubt it. The Catholic Church in the US paid out hundreds of millions of dollars to sexual assault victims there, yet what has happened in Australia? The Catholic Church has a lot to answer for and it certainly isn’t mending fences or acting as the responsible organisation that it is supposed to be.
I don’t want to go off-topic, but I’m afraid that Joe has forced my hand. Joe, why do you think that New Matilda managing editor Rod McGuinness is using a fake name? The people want to know.
At the risk of dwelling on an off-topic issue, Amazing Dave, I apologise for having too little faith in Rod’s bona fides. Mea culpa. Joe
And what is wrong with borrowing a name for internet use if it gives voice to a voiceless minority ?
Had that conversation at a marketing seminar why would anyone use their real name , got to give ASIO something to do. :)
Hello expat, great of you to show up at the party trumpeting your assumptions like a tone deaf mariachi band.
Just what is a closet Catholic; someone who sits in a cupboard confessing sins to their winter coat?
Just to establish my bona fides I am not a Catholic, never was one. I don’t beleive in any god, never did. It’s true atheists have no strong followers, in fact we aspire to live without following anyone, or being followed. If he doesn’t know any atheists, expat should get out of his foxhole more.
I’m not sure about Joe though, he does know a lot of Latin. His twisted and unnatural attack on the McGuiness clan may be some sort of Cathlic versus Protestent thing. Conspiracies abound! Get on it expat, give us a report in your usual even handed and erudite manner.
On a lighter note, I hope one day to travel by e-sledge across Northern Europe.
I was indoctrinated as a young lad , quite scary how long it takes to work those aspects out of your character , though the Catholic genital mutilation is permanent.
Hang on, can I change my name. I am an actual canine with a real doctorate. Now thats a voiceless minority.
Be proud of being a dog , mine demonstrate all the sinless christian virtues daily :)
Well I am very very jealous of the carefree lifestyle they lead.
Forgive me, I’m sure that Rod’s real name is Rod, and he is not a Catholic porn star - just to put this bone of contention behind us.
And, Dr, you can e-sledge across Siberia on the net, it’s a much more comfortable way to travel. Especially for a dog.
Jonah, do Catholics circumcise (i.e. at least the boys)? I thought that they didn’t, and that in fact this is what helped the Nazis distinguish Jewish men and boys from Polish men and boys. Joe
Funny thing that Joe not even all catholics are the same , I inherited the catholic curse from my maternal side where circumcision was the norm , but my partner has a Dutch catholic heritage wherein it is not the norm and is considered bizarre. I am sure that it stems from that whole sex as duty not pleasure thing religious people have
going. Although by legend the first of my partners 13 siblings were conceived out of wedlock in a park.
I just pick and choose nowdays , I like Christmas as a celebration of family and struggle ethically with the consumer madness as one part of my business does 60% of its trade from Oct to Dec, I abhor literal easter queasy about fathers torturing sons to death , but find the allegorical meaning quite profound.
Looking at the history of Ramadan at the moment might start celebrating that :)
E-sledge might work , when I suggest work to my Labs they just snore louder.
Thanks Jonah, but I’m now more confused than ever: your mother was circumcised but your partner wasn’t ?
When I was born in Sydney during the War, it seems to have been the norm for all baby boys to be circumcised. I had a Polish mate with whom I used to compare attributes and he took for granted that it was sort of alien, even Jewish, to get circumcised. More fool him. Joe
Must always trace your lineage from the maternal side, add for the male to be at the appropriate point and see how you go.
Australia was a very catholic country………..
Anyway how come no one cares about male genital mutilation it may not be as cruel and barbaric as inflicted on females in some cases , but we still had no say .
Think it highlights how barbaric some religious tradition inherited from the previous millenium is , considering some people need a crutch how about the New Matilda community inventing our own , must be able to do better than Hubbard ! :)
Australia a Catholic country ? I’m not so sure, haven’t they always been in a minority - and many would say, like Tom Kenneally, they have been an oppressed minority, especially the Irish Catholics ? Joe
Trying to remember a passage by Jung were he explained how catholicism had become a basic underlying imprint , part of the primitive brain , be interesting statistically what percentage have claimed the faith over the years, the only ones I count are those who follow the catholic worker tradition , or pacifist activist role ala ploughshears , rest are just scared of death and hoping the bargain pays out their way.
Tend to lump the protestants in with the catholics as well , but I seem to recall that in the early history of Melbourne there was a huge social divide between the two, anyway in modern parlance the Irish have always been terrorists , look at Ned :)
How about we create a female deity who considers the consuming of bottle water a cause to be damned for eternity ?
Jonah,
I don’t know for sure but I think that Ned would have been seen as a terrorist by the local Aboriginal people, since his policy was to get rid of any trackers who might lead the police to him. Joe
I am circumspect, and I wasn’t born into a Catholic background. I thought they just did everyone when they were a baby, before the mid seventies at least.
It could be argued that the history of Australia is caught up in the tensions between Catholic / worker / convict / Labour types against the government / soldiers / Liberal types.
In his heart Tom Keneally knows it would suck to be one of the squares, so while deploring the oppression I am positive he wouldn’t prefer to be a member of the Anglican (loosely speaking) elite.
I always thought of the history of Australia as the social war between the convict/Catholic/Labour types against the govenor/Protestant/Liberal types. We still see it today. I remember when there was surprise expressed that Tony Abbott (I think) had come so far in the Liberal Party despite his Catholicism.
But it much easier to lump them all in together. The main game now is beleivers versus science. A few minor quibbles about the source of authority within two sects of the same religion seems a silly concern to me.
I would go with Jung to the point that religion seems to tap into some primal fears. Death is one of these and nobody does death cult like the Catholics. Look at them dragging this dead guy over here in a box. Up the front of all their churches they have a dead guy on a stick. I mean when you step away from this for even a second it must seem creepy, even to a Catholic.
As for Tom Keneally, I would like to ask him if he would swap with a Kings school boy his own age. I bet he would say no. Lets be honest, Australia is no place to be a well-off square. And it is particularly bad if you want to be a creative type. Its hard to write with a plum in your mouth.
Isn’t that the source of the culture wars, Liberals getting the shits because they know they can never be as cool as Labour? I think the last fifteen years has been about Howard, Downer etc. giving it to the kids that refused to lie down and take their aloof, Anglican, born-to-rule attitude when they were at school.
Ned is a good example. They know he was a killer and thief, but everyone likes Ned. Ned is visceral, funny and rowdy. No-one likes the policeman or the Governor, they are tight-arses. I think this makes the squares crazy.
Thanks Joe for telling me i am a figment of my own imagination; I know you are a figment of your own imagination.
I do believe in greater powers and salvation.
the problem is NOT so much religion and religious people, as one enlightenened poster mentioned. Its the wannabe politicians and atheists who abuse religion for power and control.
And the person who mentioned infantile mutilation in catholicism should be banned from this thread forthwith
Thanks george for reminding us about antisemitism, Pete left us out of his list.
Annoying Jews, Annoying door to door salesmen, annoying genital herpes, look annoying is annoying.
Remember "What noise annoys an oyster most? A noisy noise annoys an oyster most.
So add oysters to the list too.
As far as lineage goes, you can thank the jews for it being traced from the mother. Unlike the Arabs who believe the father determines lineage. Jews believe that you usually can determine the mother that is if it is’nt a giraffe, rhinoceros or mule for that matter.
But unlike the Arabs, Jews only circumcise males, usually at 8 days age.
Just like there are no lesbians, so there is nothing to circumcise on a woman. But please don’t correct me if I’m wrong. Remember the "annoying squeamish" Not tonight Josephine, she must have been annoying too. Oli
WTF ?? YOU CAN GO ON A TANGENT to prove a point of an article you are replying to, not go into orbit on a sideshow !!
i didnt want to know about infantile multilations, or from whom lineage is traced from!! if i did i would compare the hypocrisy of female and male mutilations from do-gooders.
we know the world revolves about the jew-arab axis but come on, can we move away from that axis for one moment??
If you feel left out, just remember we are all figments of our own imagination.
expat - no tangent , the article was intended to provoke comment and that is what satire is intended for.
As a starting point we look at the special privilege catholics have received for a sideshow they are holding (ergo sideshows are legitimate posts), from there it is quite healthy to discuss the absurdities and strange behaviours people have indulged in while claiming belief.
Not so much figments of imaginations but a cluster of potential on a space time continuum.
Life would be so much easier if people would stop insisting on knowing things , including where this thread is headed :)
when people know where they are going, maybe they wont be chasing their tails too often
On the issue of circumcision I believe the need to circumcise males arose due to the fact we became ‘human erectus’ as in ‘to walk upright’.
Because unlike the vast majority of mammals with a large penis which walk on all four limbs, (or at least swing on their forearms) which helps alleviate the negative effects of gravity on the penile tissue , we humans do not. And it was also used to reduce male infantile urinary infections (more prevalent in arid climates) and hence help reduce the number of subsequent male infantile deaths.
As with many of the ancient traditions and laws of Judaism (appropriated by both Christians and Muslims, often in ignorance) it was introduced as a health or hygiene precaution specific to a local problem.
revilo:
Arabs circumcise women? Not many of them do. Probably about as many as Jews who don’t circumcise boys. Let’s leave the sneaky slanders out of it, even if they suit your point of view.