British misogynist and self-described ‘most Googled person on earth’ Andrew Tate has had cold water poured on his aspirations for Irish citizenship… because the international airport at Dublin is “broken” and undergoing “roadworks that will be going on for a good while”.
The devastating news comes as Tate – who remains under house arrest in Romania accused of a string of violence and sex offences – looks around for better lifestyle options. This week, Tate told his nine million followers on Twitter:
“My grandfather was from Limerick. My mother half English half Irish. Making me one quarter Irish. When this bullshit in Romania is over I’m tempted to move to Ireland and fund/raise awareness for all these brave people saving their nation from being invaded.”
Tate’s basic maths comprehension problems aside, alas, it seems the Irish are quite a bit less interested in Tate than Tate is in the Irish, if the response of popular Irish musician and social media star Garron Noone (and that of his followers) is anything to go by.
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“Andrew, the Irish people have received your application… we are not claiming ya. We feel you don’t align with our brand. So fuck off, please. Thank you,” notes Noone.
And even though immigration is obviously out of the question, Noone also closes the door on a possible visit by the accused rapist.
“He also wants to move to Ireland once he’s out of Romania. Andrew, I’m afraid that simply won’t be possible. The airport is broken. There’s roadworks on it and they’ll be going on for a good while.”
As for Tate’s offer to lead the Irish people in their defence of their nation from invasion by an unnamed menace:
“Andrew, I’m afraid you’re about 100 years too late to spearhead Irish independence. The potatoes have grown back, the English have mostly gone, we just kept the ones we need.”
As you might imagine, the comments section of Noone’s ‘Tate thrashing’ is worth the price of admission.
Kimmigen notes: “Does Baldylocks really think that the “Ireland is full” crowd will welcome him with open arms?”
Interestingly, Tate doesn’t appear to be as famous as he thinks: many apparently believe the UK’s most infamous alleged sex offender is actually American. Writes Svalich: “Look at all the basic turnips we have in the USA. We are trying to get rid of “The Tater” before he returns and claims a public office of any sort. That’s what we do with crazy folks, apparently.”
Or there was this comment… potentially the most American question anyone has ever asked: “My ancestors are from Ireland please can I move in? Anyone know Finton Connolly, he died in 1914 age 36 when my nan and her twin brother were only a few months old, I’d love to know my family in Ireland.”
An exhaustive search using the world-wide resources of New Matilda located this potential lead in a cemetery in Cork.
Anitaaspill solves the mystery: “Finton! ah would you stop , my great granny lived next door to him, lovely man” (to which the American woman replies “wow where abouts?”).
As does dani_I_puenktchen: “My great grandmother knew him. But then again: everybody knew slutty Finton!”
Finally, mir66 mercifully puts us all out of our misery: “You know there’s 5 million people here and most were born after 1914!!”
In any event, Ireland might be even further away than the Tate brothers think. Once they’ve resolved their charges in Romania – either by winning their acquittal, or serving lengthy prison sentences – they face extradition to the United Kingdom, where authorities in Bedfordshire have also obtained arrest warrants for serious sex offences.
“As part of an ongoing investigation into allegations of rape and human trafficking, Bedfordshire police has obtained a European arrest warrant for two men in their 30s,” a spokesperson for the constabulary said in a written statement.
“We are working with authorities in Romania as part of this investigation and will provide an update in due course.”
Tate, whose brave struggle with basic grammar doesn’t dissuade him from proudly retweeting himself, uses his social media presence to drop pearls of wisdom on troubled young (and not so young) men around the world. Like this….
“Avoid women who go to festivals. Theyre (sic) either on some losers (sic) table whos (sic) feeding them cocaine or in a crowd of sweaty peasants because theyre (sic) a sweaty peasant. Endless instagram (sic) stories screaming and having “fun” to prove to the world theyre (sic) worthless. Hard pass festihoes.”
Meanwhile, Romanian authorities have re-issued warning to women to avoid men who try to rape and traffick them.
You can follow Tate’s excellent adventure through the Romanian criminal justice system here. And for happier news, you can follow Garron Noone’s Insta here, his TikTok here, and watch him perform I’m On Fire below. He’s delicious.
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