A fortnight ago Australia seemed to have one of its most serious national challenges sorted. I’m not referring to an alternative to coal power, an export industry to replace mining, or a tablet to cure cyber-bullying. Rather, our perennial search for a national tennis star.
In January, Australians regularly feel the absence of a national tennis star in the final week of the Australian Open. A few just “appreciate the tennis”. This is a little like “appreciating jazz”: a minority does, most pretend. The rest of us are left to adopt players with the loosest connection to Australia. Anything from dating an Australian to an Australian 3rd cousin will do.
It is the mission of Tennis Australia and the AIS to end this dreadful deprivation. They were close to mission accomplished with Bernard Tomic. Sadly, that project is a failure. Even the most ardent Australian tennis fan cannot back a man who lives on the Gold Coast and got three traffic fines in one day while driving a Ferrari. Had it been a Datsun in Western Sydney, he could still be a hero.
Hence, Nick Kyrgios’ now infamous sledge is more than a juvenile sexist slur, it’s a national tragedy.
Pam Shriver is concerned Tennis Australia’s legacy has been tarnished.
Triple M impressed upon Kyrgios’ brother Christos how serious the situation is: Nick could be booed at Melbourne park. This would truly be a national tragedy, a nation that longs for a tennis champion to ease the passing of summer, booing its only tennis champion.
The predictable “think of the children – bad role model” complaints have been rolled out. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, Australia’s parents insist on sharing responsibility for moral instruction with elite athletes.
On the Drum, it was remarked that Tennis Australia had offered Kyrgios counseling.
The pundit consensus is clear: the AIS, Tennis Australia, and the Government has failed the sports fans of Australia. Too focused on churning out champions, they did not focus on personality.
This problem could be addressed by pouring money into socialization courses for tennis stars. A My Fair Lady unit for the AIS. Maybe put them through NIDA. This way our young stars can learn to cultivate the humble, confident, slightly funny persona Aussies crave.
Everyone asks where is the next Pat Rafter. Reasonable question. Rafter retired in 2002. Human cloning has been a reality for 15 years. What are we waiting for?
There may be another solution: don’t care. I know it’s bold. Just stop caring. Choose not to care in your own way. Accept Kyrgios is tosser but cheer for him anyway. He is, as Tracy Holmes wrote, a fairly typical tennis tosser. Alternatively, turn the TV off.
I know it’s a bold call. In many ways a repudiation of everything Australia stands for. I speak from the authority of being a mad sports fan.
Sport is a perfect alternative to TV drama. To enjoy it you need to be invested in a character or set of characters. Local connection is the most sensible way to choose whom to be invested in. It is that feeling of connection that makes watching sport interesting.
I am an Aussie sports nut. I still believe the workday should be shortened in July when Wimbledon and the Ashes coincide. I remember the joy when Mark Philippoussis beat Sampras in 1996, and feeling the charm of a guy who knows how to get to Melbourne Park by tram beating the world number one. Shortly afterwards Philippoussis would get about by Lamborghini.
I know supporting Australians is slightly irrational. But that is what makes following a sport fun. The alternative is gambling on the outcome, which is far less charming, and more expensive.
I remember being asked by someone how I could support a football team that included players who had engaged in racial slurs, and had criminal convictions. The answer is simple: it’s my team. If you start choosing a team based on who is the better bunch of blokes it would require far too much research. To do it properly would probably require criminal stalking. I don’t have that kind of time.
Tennis is harder of course, because it’s an individual you have to empathize with. At least in a team sport you can excuse the dills as a colourful minority.
Nick Kyrgios or Bernard Tomic are not ambassadors to the world for Australia. Australia doesn’t get anything if they win. Although, the Davis Cup would be more entertaining if nations played for real stakes. At the very least a tennis tie would be as good a way as any to solve the Greece v Germany stand off.
If these kids are role models to your kids, you should probably do something about that.
They are guys that hit a ball who happen to come from the same continent as us.
If you want to back them, back them. If you, like me, can’t cheer for them, don’t bother. Don’t over think it.
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