Top Seven Profanities Andrew Bolt Has Never Spoken Out Against

It’s a column format that has been in high demand of late, and no one has utilised the formula with greater bombast than Andrew Bolt, a man who spends a good deal of his time (and makes a good deal of money) by demanding, ‘The Left’, Muslims, and various other groups denounce everything unpleasant in the world, all of the time.

This week, it’s ‘the gays’.

In a sublime show of incongruity, Bolt criticised the attendees of Sydney’s gay and lesbian Mardi Gras for – you guessed it – failing to have a float denouncing ISIS.

“The Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras had 150 floats last night, not one float protested about the killing of gays by Islamic State, which I thought was rather more serious than Catholic church problems,” he said.

In honour of Andrew’s comment, and the commendable demand that everybody denounce everything all of the time, we decided to look over Bolt’s own record of rampant condemnation.

Here are seven things Andrew Bolt has never denounced, which he should have.

1) The Intergenerational Report

The recent Intergenerational Report did a marvellous job of taking on tax and the problem of an ageing population, in Bolt’s view, but spent rather too much time talking about climate change – that “global warming rubbish stuff”.

But like the gays, the Intergenerational Report failed to condemn the Islamic State death cult. As the greatest threat to humanity going forward, Bolt surely should have protested against the exclusion of Islamic State from this important government report.

 

2) The cats of the NSW Labor party

Without a hint of irony, The Bolt Report on Sunday dedicated time to “talking about infantile debates” including the NSW Labor party’s use of cute cats in its anti-Coal Seam Gas campaign.

“How infantile is public debate now that a Labor party, trying to become the government of NSW, thinks showing fluffy kittens is a way to win an argument about coal seam gas,” Bolt complained.

So he did (as he often does) have a dig at the party, and its kittens.

But when it comes to the art of denouncing the non-denouncers, no target is too small (or fluffy).

Not only did that election material use cute cats – it also failed to protest against the Islamic state. Surely this was worthy of Bolt’s protest too. Where are the anti-IS memes, Labor?

We hope to see Andrew denounce these soft-on-terror e-kitties soon.

 

3) The Wiggles

Strong on fruit salad, silent on death cults. Denounce immediately, Mr Bolt.

 

4) Tony Abbott’s Receding Hairline

If someone doesn’t call the PM’s hair out for its disappearing act soon, he’ll be full Peter Garrett by the next federal election. It doesn’t really have anything to do with ISIS. It’s just a bit ugly. Bolt must find his voice on this issue soon.

 

5) The Extinction Of The Dinosaurs

A devastating turn in global history – all at once we lost most of our coolest reptiles. Imagine how much better NT News splashes would be if there was something bigger than crocodiles skulking around inland Australia?

Bolt, who some would argue is a kind of a dinosaur himself, has never spoken out about the mass killing of his brethren. Shame!

 

 

Rupert Murdoch thinks all Muslims should apologise for terrorism. So on behalf of white people I'd like to apologise for Rupert Murdoch.

— Matt Haig (@matthaig1) January 10, 2015

 

6) Rupert Murdoch

As has been pointed out, if it is the duty of all Muslims to denounce any Muslim who does anything distasteful anywhere in the world, then surely the same burden falls on rich white men.

Being the independent, free-thinking journalist he is, Bolt should have no problem speaking out against the man who runs the global empire he works for.

 

7) Discrimination against LGBTQI people

Finally, on a slightly more serious note…

It seems strange we have to actually point this out, but ISIS will probably not withdraw from their attacks on the people of Iraq and Syria if a decked-out anti-ISIS float trailing glitter is hauled up Oxford street.

On the other hand though, if Bolt were to use his vast reach for good, he could probably make a real difference for marginalised groups living in Australia including LGBTQI people, who suffer heightened levels of anxiety, depression, and homelessness, largely as a result of discrimination and stigmatisation. 

While occasionally defending the communities covered by this umbrella term (though usually as a roundabout way to praise conservative leaders), Bolt also uses the pulpit to mock them (and to badly misinterpret the work of Monty Python).

Denouncing those who fail to denounce is all good fun – but maybe he could find some time to speak out against the persecution of LGBTQI people himself.