KEATING! The Musical

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‘The Ruler of the Land’
(When Keating wins office with a reggae beat)

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Keating: I thought this moment would be nervous
But tonight I’m full of joy.
I bless my 20 years of service
As a Blaxland Bankstown boy.
A chance to make the nation richer,
An opportunity to see
A wider screen, a bigger picture,
And you gave that chance to me I take it with glee!

‘Cos I am the ruler of the land;
They tell me I’m the man.
Band: Who da man?
Keating: Who da man?
Band: You the man!
Keating: Yes I am.
But … but … but …
I am the ruler of a nation torn
By redneck scorn of the native born.
Can we finally have a treaty, please?
Apologies to Aborigines?

Nowadays I’m quite persuaded
A nation takes its share of blame.
The White man certainly invaded.
The past will always stay the same.
Show me something of our future
Smarter, wiser, less afraid.
Put the mozz on every moocher,
Let the nation be remade I must be obeyed!

‘Cos I am the ruler of the land;
They tell me I’m the man.
Band: Who da man?
Keating: Who da man?
Band: You the man!
Keating: Yes I am.
But … but … but …
I am the servant of a distant queen
Who can overween and intervene.
Can we finally make her obsolete?
Stand complete on our own two feet?

And wouldn’t it be nice to get on with your neighbour?
And make it very clear, Australia part of Asia?
And wouldn’t it be good just hangin’ in the ‘hood,
To lend a cup of sugar like a neighbour should?
And wouldn’t it be sweet, talkin’ over the fence,
Evans/Keating: Recalcitrance becoming common sense?

Let me now address the Chamber.
Everyone from red to blue (I’m talkin’ to you!),
Yes, I’m at the end of the rainba
And now I hold a pot of gold for you.
Here’s the gist of my agenda:
Let’s advance Australia fair;
No retreat and no surrender
‘Til we get our nation there I solemnly swear!

‘Cos I am the ruler of the land;
They tell me I’m the man.
Band: Who da man?
Keating: Who da man?
Band: You the man!
Keating: Yes I am.
(Top banana republic man).

‘Choose Me’
(A duet between Keating and Howard singing at election time to the constituents in soul music style)

Keating: Since we’ve been together, baby, what a ride we’ve had
A rollercoaster J-curve through the good times and the bad.
And maybe you got the blues,
But if you have to choose,
then choose me.

Howard: You gave him your devotion and he treated you so cruel.
You took him to the top and now he takes you for a fool.
Why don’t you break it up?
It’s time to shake it up
and choose me.

Howard: Dislocation, deprivation, well it’s more than you should stand.

Keating: Working Nation transformation needs a sure and steady hand.
We’ll be smarter, it gets harder, but we’ve got to push on through.

Howard: You don’t need it! Why believe it? What’s your country done for you?

Howard: I’ll pick you pretty flowers, babe, and bring ’em to your door.

Keating: Am I the only one to whom that promise sounds non-core?

Howard: No, I always tell the truth.

Keating: I think we need some proof.

Keating/Howard: So choose me

Keating: We had trouble, burst our bubble, but recovery is here.

Howard: I don’t trust it, he’ll just bust it gonna prick your brick veneer.

Keating: Honest Johnny, later on, we gonna see a GST?

Howard: No I swear it, I declare it, that will never ever be!

Keating: So tell me truly, baby, is it him or is it me?

Howard: Take a lolly, baby, think it over carefully.

Keating/Howard: ‘Cos now it’s up to you.
Whatever you want to do …
But choose me!

KEATING! Season Dates 16 November “ 23 December 2006
Belvoir St Theatre, 25 Belvoir St, Surry Hills
Times: Tuesday 6:30pm, Wednesday to Friday 8:00pm, Saturday 2:00pm & 8:00pm, Sunday 5:00pm.
Tickets: Full $48. Seniors (excluding Fri/Sat evenings) & Groups 10+ $42. Concession $30. Under 27: $30 tickets for Tuesday 6.30pm available from 10:00am on the day (subject to availability).
Bookings: (02) 9699 3444 or www.belvoir.com.au

Launched in 2004, New Matilda is one of Australia's oldest online independent publications. It's focus is on investigative journalism and analysis, with occasional smart arsery thrown in for reasons of sanity. New Matilda is owned and edited by Walkley Award and Human Rights Award winning journalist Chris Graham.

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