Is it possible for an electricity giant that rakes in almost $2 billion in revenue each year to give less than zero f*cks? As in, minus f*cks?
Well, it might sound like a theoretical impossibility, but Essential Energy – the NSW Government-owned corporation that runs the electricity network in the Far West of NSW – is certainly giving it a red hot go.
An overnight power outage that began on the stroke of midnight has just moved into its eighth hour (at the time of press) for almost 8,000 customers in Broken Hill and surrounds, including the remote communities of Wilcannia and Tibooburra, according to Essential’s map.
Of course, storms happen, and occasional power outages are a part of the reality of life in the Outback. But you’d think the people responsible would be good at handling them, given how much practice they get? Right?
Wrong.
Currently, if you ring Essential Energy to get an update, a recorded message lets you know that there’s a power outage in Broken Hill. Which is extremely helpful, especially in reminding people why they called the power company in the first place.
Unfortunately, that’s where the assistance ends for Far West customers, because the recording then advises that operators won’t be taking calls from people affected by the power outage. They’ll only speak to people who aren’t in the affected area.
Which begs the obvious question, why list a phone number for ‘Electricity supply interruptions’ if you won’t take phone calls from anyone whose currently got an ‘electricity supply interruption’?
The recorded message does, however, give you a website to visit for “updates”. And by updates, Essential Energy means ‘No updates’.
Instead, they provide customers with this:
This from the multi-billion corporation responsible for almost all of NSW’s electricity (that’s 8 million people), plus southern Queensland.
You can’t make this shit up.
You’ll note the headline: “Important Information During Bushfires (don’t push live until approved, this is palceholder (sic) content!)”.
Maybe don’t ‘push live’ until you’ve spellchecked either, folks?
Followed by this advice from Essential Energy for customers looking to find out when they’ll get their power back on:
“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Suspendisse vitae ex id sem dapibus egestas. Pellentesque nec bibendum dui, nec egestas odio. Vivamus condimentum justo ut feugiat laoreet. Morbi euismod dolor urna, eu ullamcorper nunc elementum id. Aenean eu risus sed elit luctus aliquam eu vitae est. Integer quis pretium urna. Fusce dapibus in nisl non bibendum.”
I had hoped, for editorial reasons, that the translation would be something thoroughly embarrassing. Unfortunately, it’s just a boring screed about placeholder text.
“Lorem ipsum is a placeholder text often used in design and typography. The actual text doesn’t have any real meaning in Latin or any other language, as it is typically used as a filler to demonstrate the visual form of a document or a typeface without relying on meaningful content. This specific passage is adapted from a work by Cicero and is known as ‘Lorem ipsum.’”
In any event, no electricity for most of Broken Hill this morning. Or last night. And best of luck today, where the mercury is forecast to reach 38 degrees. And we’re only halfway through Spring.
Brave new world folks… although terrible service from arrogant Australian utility companies is hardly a new development.
If you’re wondering who to thank beyond Essential Energy for the information debacle, the answer is ‘BOTH major parties’. It was Labor under Bob Carr that first sought to privatise electricity in NSW. After a restructure, Carr mostly backed down. So did his successor Morris Iemma. It was Labor darling Kristina Kenneally who finally forced it through, although the Liberals stepped in five years later to make it even worse, courtesy of Mike Baird.
And so combined, the politicians we’re now entrusting to guide us through the ‘cost of living’ crisis have left us with… ‘Insert ‘palceholder’ text here naming breathtakingly incompetent electricity provider’.
UPDATE: Power was restored shortly after publication of this story, just before 8am. No such luck for the Essential Energy updates page.