Australian Politics

John Howard's Bitches

By New Matilda

November 23, 2005

John Howard’s Bitches

Eddie Perfect

He’s gentle, he’s caring,He’s old, but he’s wise.He’s one of those trustworthy, elderly guys.He makes our decisions and thinks for us, which isWhy I am one ofJohn Howard’s bitches.

A man of compassion,A man of forgiveness The truth’s not important unless there’s a witness.But even the best government has its glitches;That’s why I’m one ofJohn Howard’s bitches.

He’s my daddy,He’s my world.I’m like a giggling private school girl.He’s my sun, my moon and my stars.Each night he beats me and kisses the scars.

A man of integrity,Honour and class.He’ll lie in your ear while he’s fucking your arse.He’ll laugh at your suffering, take polaroid pictures.That’s why I’m one ofJohn Howard’s bitches.

I visit his mansion I’m his pool-boy.He plays the Catholic priest, I play the school-boy.After dinner we say our prayers,And then he handcuffs me under the stairs.

Most people don’t like to think they’re a whore.What else can we be when we still ask for more?Thank God I’m not Indigenous, homeless or poor.Last week he beat me so hard, I took 36 stitches,He can’t say he’s sorry but promises riches,And we mustn’t think we deserve better, which is Why we are, all of us, John Howard’s bitches.

Eddie Perfect performed this song at ‘SEDITION!‘ on 13 November at the Sydney Theatre.