satire
2 Apr 2009
Kevin's Running A China Shop
The only thing standing between Australia and total Chinese domination are the ever vigilant foot soldiers at News Ltd, writes Bob Dumpling
You don't have to be Gerard Henderson to know that the Chinese regime is already running Australia. We may go through the motions of having a "parliament", of holding "elections", of believing Kerry O'Brien isn't a Chinese-made android. But the reality is, the Howard government was Australia's last independent, free government. The Rudd Government is merely a shopfront for Beijing.Of course, this didn't happen overnight. Gough Whitlam fell in love with China all those years ago, and despite the Chinese finding Bob Hawke inexplicably "scary", it was Paul Keating's obtuse conviction that we were somehow part of Asia that really did us in. The fact is that Labor, without understanding a single word the Chinese were saying, couldn't resist a nice fat Chinese junket.
The New South Wales Labor Right has been meeting at the Golden Century Seafood Restaurant in Sydney's Chinatown for as long as anyone can remember. The fact that even the abalone tank is bugged doesn't seem to phase anyone. When I used to attend lunches there to get cosy with heavies from the NSW Labor Council, you'd never see the same wait staff twice. The only time I recognised one of them was when I went to get my visa application stamped over at the Chinese consulate. The young bloke looked at me knowingly and I pretended I didn't recognise him. I'm not afraid to join the dots.
Ever since then, I've watched the way the Chinese operate with a heightened level of suspicion. The only other people who seem to hold a similar view are the federal Coalition and the entire state of Queensland. We all laughed at Howard and Downer during APEC when Kevin Rudd wowed the world with his linguistic prowess. But no one else realised we had our own Manchurian Candidate when Rudd said "是的，先生，不，先生， 3袋全先生".
And now we have the current dramas with the Defence Minister, poor old Joel Fitzgibbon. Most of us would realise when we've been shanghai-ed, but Fitzgibbon is from Cessnock, and of course, things take a little longer to sink in there. Having travelled to China with Helen Liu, moved into her Canberra apartment and been given a new suit, Fitzgibbon clearly thought she was just another charitable Chinese business woman. These new claims that she is a threat to national security seem a little dated. China's national security is now our national security.
Fortunately we have the vigilant foot soldiers at News Ltd, who know the inherent dangers of being completely overrun by the most populated nation on Earth. One who isn't afraid to blow the hysteria horn is Christian Kerr. I've watched this video of him three times, and it's a masterclass in China Not Like Us, China Bad 101. (While you're stuck on the Oz video site, check out young Matthew Franklin from London and discover the "secret knock" to get into No 10 Downing Street.)
There are other telltale signs that Labor has sold us off to China. Senator Stephen Conroy's joyful performance on Your ABC last week certainly sated my mind. With talk that the ACMA blacklist could include non-prohibited materials and lacked transparency, Conroy eloquently stated, "What's the point in having a list if someone else can see it?" Deng Xiaoping couldn't have said it better himself.
Anyone who caught the show would have seen the "anarchist" audience member who was given a chance to ask a question and could have buried the floundering Conroy once and for all on the role of government in a free democracy. The entire tech community of Australia watched anxiously, waiting for him to fire the final shot into Conroy's defence. Instead, looking suspiciously like a bearded carnie from Melbourne's Moomba Festival, he made the unexpected segue, "Senator Conroy, don't you realise that 1984 was supposed to be a warning, not an instruction manual?"
Don't doubt for a second that he was a Chinese plant.
The time is ripe to look at a few other instruction manuals the Rudd Government seems to be reading from. Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale and Ayn Rand's Anthem would both come in handy. The two most powerful women in Canberra? Both are barren and unmarried. Gillard may even get married off to the Taiwanese, or one of Kim Jong Il's sons, if it suits Beijing. And Penny Wong? Well, enough said. Homebirths soon to be illegal in Australia, rates of breastfeeding falling, caesarean sections skyrocketing — how many more similarities to loveless China do we need?
Also, is it just me, or is there something highly suspicious about NSW Premier Nathan Rees? With a budget in serious debt, he decided to award the $150 million contract for up to 267,000 laptops for NSW school kids to the majority Chinese-owned Lenovo. That's 267,000 tracking and monitoring devices in Aussie schools and homes.
And Kevin Rudd spends more time pushing for China to run the G20 than addressing the plight of our drought-stricken farmers. He even has secret meetings with Chinese people. Except for the fact that the media reports that the meetings took place, which I suppose doesn't really make them so secret.
Our PM even kicked up a faux-fuss, unhappy with the seating arrangements for a British TV panel which had him sitting next to Madam Fu Ying, the Chinese ambassador to Britain. This is a classic espionage double-play which obviously saw Rudd singing from the same song sheet.
Finally, China is stretching its bloodied claws out to grab our innocent, environmentally responsible mining conglomerates. Labor will screech that we have tough Australian foreign ownership rules but as we all know too well, rules are made to be broken.
We can only pray there will be a double dissolution and China won't step in and declare Martial Law. Perhaps if true Australians see sense and vote the Coalition back in, we can return to being independent and free. We all feel much more comfortable with those B-52s and Globemasters flying in at all hours, unchecked from Guam. Of course, we don't know what exactly goes on at Pine Gap, but it can't be that bad. And we've only participated in the invasion of a handful of sovereign states with our true friend and ally. An ally we can trust implicitly. I mean, up until recently, they were white like us.
Delicious
Digg
StumbleUpon
Reddit
Newsvine
Facebook
Kwoff
Discuss this article
To participate in the discussion Sign in or Register
Rudd was exposed very early on with regard the Ian Tang/Stanley Ho Affair - that our media presented this was a good sign, but that Rudd refused to answer questions in parliament suggested - a/ guilty as charged and b/ a parliamentary system which is not up to the task of protecting the dumb voters from fraud.
The Tang/Ho Affair has now expanded into many such afffairs so the reality of the China Shop is quite clear now, and we also know that China is buying up 20% of Treasury bonds to fund these Stimulus packages - money ironically that will end up again in the China shop as its hard to find anything OZ made in our shops.
But we have a clever PM who is using PR Spin and cash handouts very well to conceal the reality of the day, the reality that our government has submitted to pressure from a strong and nearby military power - fine - if this was a vote catching mandate "Let them own us and then they wont destroy us" or some such, but thats not the case and we have a PM who is less than straight with the truth…and who lacks creativity when it comes to achieving productivity, sustainability, and independance - all possible if we played an honest deck.
As it happens 85% of our gas reserves are sold for next to nothing to China, and now our government in its short sightedness is allowing a cashed up China, to buy everything available under the Aussie sun, when the central banks decide to turn the economies back on (lets not kid around with the joke that is - economic cycles) , ownership of Australia by China will mean effectively that we will be answering to what is in essence a military dictatorship - by this point the name Rudd wont be so popular neither will the name ‘Swan’ and by that time it will be nay impossible to dig ourselves out of the big greedy Rudd pit.
But on the other hand, being run by China ( a self proclaimed military dictatorship) may be more refreshing than living under the pretence of democracy, with Rudd type governments saying one thing while the real secret deals go unannounced, secret dictatorship, secret deals, a false parliament, a society based on a big fat lie.
Pity Peter Garrett is in parliament, I can hear a new Midnight Oil song.
Chinese forces give the nod….
Ah what aout the uranium, ‘yellow cake’
No racism intended. Martin Fergo is frothing at the mouth to dig up and transport as much of the stuff around the place as he can.
Yes, the nuclear elephant standing in the corner of every shopping centre. What ever happened to No nukes signs, remember ‘Yabby creek council declares this municipality a nuclear free zone"
Now we have according to the French man, the only right wing democracy in Europe Sarkoszy, "Capitalism with a conscience" after G20.
How do you say ‘Merde Alors’ in Mandarin? Oli
No-one seems fazed that this ‘article’ was written by a ‘man’ who calls himself ‘Bob Dumpling’ and represents himself as a ‘plate’ of delicious Chinese food.
Surely spying is an ‘outcome based industry’ Mr Dumpling. Deliberately avoiding use of your own image on this site ensures nobody can question the origins your snappy new suit, doesn’t it? How many times have you been to China, Mr Dumpling, and who paid?
I smell a red under the byline and will be calling the Department of Defense today.
Fitzgibbon handed back the safari suit to Helen Liu and said "I ordered a short soup".
Chinese political takeover of Australia Bob, no you’re way off the mark, they don’t need to do that.
China is now the master of global finance and economics.
And it’s not just Australia that is either the ‘shop front’ or ‘dirty backyard’ for China’s ambitious financial and economic takeover of the world.
They have going concerns on every continent and in almost every country, because they can produce commodities more cheaply than most other nations due to their economies of scale.
The capitalist world doesn’t stand a chance as this communist mega-economy gobbles up, swallows and then spits out every thing smaller and less efficient on its path to global economic control.
Revillo,
Re the ‘yellow cake’ Ferguson talks about, the Chinese investment is via what an astute sharemarket commentator - piermont - describes as yet another sharemarket scam - the scamee is CITIC - part of the Chinese Military and the conduit is Marathon Resources, the site - Mt Gee SA - so Ferguson knows shit from clay (or Uranium) when it comes to Chinese investment which is fine anyway, because he is a YES man, not regarded as an intelligent minister, and not regarded as well versed in matters of energy or resources. I say, from here on, the Chinese polit buro should speak directly on behalf of the Rudd Cabinet and we can cut out the middlemen and retire a few politicians that have out lived their worth.
Dr Dog, as you are undoubtedly well aware, there are many breeds of dogs. There are also many kinds of dumplings.
Sincerely
Bob Dumpling
The first seven words of this article filled me with an overwhelming sense of relief.